the "weighting" game

So oh I don't know lets say about 5 babies ago I felt something like the above. Sexy, beautiful, confident. Somewhere after the 3rd baby I started to feel more like that Hilda pin-up making the rounds just now. Nothing fit like it used to. The image I saw in the mirror didn't add up to the image of me I had in my head. The one I saw made me feel terrible. That was another 2 babies and about 20 lbs ago. You can imagine how I feel now. I started mid January with this weight loss game and here we are now going into March and I'm only 8 lbs down. Still have about 25 lbs to go before I'll feel like that girl again, and I can't wait! I mean literally. What on earth happened. It used to be that I just had to look at the scale every day and say a little wish and the weight would fall off me. Now I barely eat, don't stop moving all day, and I'm lucky if a couple of pounds a week come off. Somewhere along this road of baby rearing I lost sight of who I was and what was important to me to make me feel like me. Now I know a lot of people jump on the "you've been pregnant or nursing most years for the past god knows how many how could you expect to me "the old you" ". But the issue is that without looking in the mirror and seeing the old me, I don't feel like me. I feel like an imposter in this body. I have no confidence. I always have that niggling doubt in myself that tends to ruin a part of every day, every special event, everything that should be fun. I feel like a failure. I failed my own body. It's not that I want to be the "hottest bitch in this place" (is it just me or even though Blurred Lines is long gone is it still in your head too argh).. I just want to look in the mirror and see me again, really see me, and not feel failure, or sadness. I feel so sorry for my husband, not because he has extra to love right now, because I do believe he still loves every inch of me, I feel sorry for him because he hasn't got the best of me these past 6 years that I've had to bare this load, both physically and mentally. I have been a miserable bitch, even in times when I should have been so happy. So I'll plod on with this slow weight loss ride, and try to focus on the day in the not so distant future when I look in the mirror and I look back at myself. Me again.

Fabric addiction

Just a quick post as I'm busy moving things out of the spare room, to move the boys in - their room is to become a playroom.. long story no time! I'm having a fair bit of success selling fabric in my etsy store. Feeling excited at this actually becoming an earner rather than just an excuse to have more fabric in my stash! https://www.etsy.com/shop/brambleboutique

dress making... for dummies

I feel like I'm staring at a map of the London underground. And so begins my journey into sewing! I made skirts for the girls last year and that was easy enough. Thought I'd try some simple pants for baby because I got some really cute polka dot farm animal fabric the other day. 

Yeah. So far, haven't got past staring at the pattern for 5 mins! I also got a dress pattern thankfully haven't opened it yet so that cat can remain in the bag for now - think it would send me over the edge!

hitting the sales

I decided to venture into Michael's last night, while hunting down some fabric stock for my store https://www.etsy.com/shop/brambleboutique. I was really checking out some jewelry bits and bobs for my daughter's upcoming 6th birthday, but couldn't help myself with the holiday sale stuff. They had all the Valentine's finds at 75% off - how could I resist! The thing is if you are smart you can buy the items in the sales that you would use anytime, not just that holiday. Michael's has a bad habit of putting hearts on the packaging of the funniest things.. same with holly at Christmas, Spring Chicks at Easter and so on. Most of the items I bought can be used year round so also could be bought year round had they just thought not to add their silly packaging! 

My finds:

Red and white straws - 16pc ea for just 59c ea these can usually be found in there for $4!

Rubber stamps - the doilies can be used anytime! Cost just $2 each - usually $10

Red ramekins.. just 59c each! I can use these for ingredients, crafts.. so many things! 

I also bought some red glitter ribbon for 50c usually $4. Perfect for Christmas time bows for the girls. Oh and I bought a big pad of Valentine cardstock for $5 usually $20. The items are displayed on some of the pages which are a bit "lovey" - but for the most part it is flowers and chevron patterns - so can definitely be used anytime. Bargains! Love it.

Cake Pops - the perfect pickerupper..!

What can I say - these were the best things to come out of the cupcake revival search for small portion big wow desserts. Easy to make and stunning to look at, they are the new cheese on a stick.. ok nothing beats cheese on a stick but these come close.

The best thing is you can decorate them in so many ways and they have that cute small appeal that larger cakes often lack. All you need to do is bake your favorite cake in a tray or however you feel comfortable doing it.

Break it up into crumbs, add a dollop of icing and form into balls. Place the balls on sticks and use melted candy melts to coat. Then you can decorate them however you want to. 

Hell, you can even do amazing cutest dog in the world Boo pops! A very satisfying treat and with a tiny amount of calories if we're comparing to a hunk of chocolate cake. What's not to love! I got a box of Valentine's decorating treats at Michael's last night - so albeit a bit late we are getting in the spirit of the love season today with Valentine Pops!

you can please some of the people, some of the time...

It will never be easy for me to deal with in business the type of people I would never want to have contact with in my personal life. When it comes to selling things online, you really have no choice in the matter. And as such you will come across people who no matter what you do for them - they will not be happy, will give you grief, and cause you to on occasion wish you had never got into the online marketplace. ahem eBay ahem.. I don't really want to give eBay any time on my blog but I will say that their single worst thing they ever did was to take away a seller being able to leave negative or neutral feedback about a buyer. Yet a buyer can leave both. Ridiculous. Take my situation right now. I sold an item shipped it, took 8 business days, in the current horrendous weather - to be expected. However after just 7 days the buyer opened a case against me, no message to me, just a case against me, for non receipt. I, not wanting to get bad feedback immediately refunded her and fully expected for her either to leave feedback saying how I was fast to respond and graciously responded with a full refund, or to just not leave feedback. However, she left me a big grey neutral - saying she never received the item. The tracking on this item shows it will be delivered today just over a week after the auction was won. But she's already left the feedback, and both her and eBay refuse to do anything about it. It is so upsetting and ridiculous. But nothing I can do. And it's all very well me telling myself to lock it in a drawer somewhere in my mind and forget it. Not happening. Maybe this is that drawer though, we'll see! Rant over..

snow day fun

So as of right now here in the lower Hudson Valley - it's pretty much a white out. We've had over a foot of snow and it's only noon!

Not exactly great play outside weather yet - but if it has stopped where you are - this is such a fun thing for the bored kids to get busy with. Just pop some food coloring and water into some squeezy bottles et voila - outdoor painting fun. Love this idea!

Valentine Volcano Cakes

These are what I'll be making my sweethearts on Valentine's Day.. nom nom nom!

 

Chocolate Lava Cakes

Yield:
8 servings

Ingredients

Baking spray, for spraying custard cups
2 stick butter
4 ounces bittersweet chocolate
4 ounces semisweet chocolate
2 1/2 cups powdered sugar
4 whole eggs
6 egg yolks
2 teaspoon vanilla

1 cup all-purpose flour

Directions

Preheat the oven to 425 degrees F. Spray four custard cups with baking spray and place on a baking sheet.

Microwave the butter, bittersweet chocolate and semisweet chocolate in a large bowl on high until the butter is melted, about 1 minute. Whisk until the chocolate is also melted. Stir in the sugar until well blended. Whisk in the eggs and egg yolks, then add the vanilla. Stir in the flour. Divide the mixture among the custard cups.

Bake until the sides are firm and the centers are soft, about 13 minutes. Let stand 1 minute. Invert on individual plates while warm and serve

Cheese Soup - winter's best friend

I just glanced at next week's temps - 40s - not bad I thought, with the children being home from school I wanted to actually leave the house with them and venture forth.Then it hit me - the big snow warning on Thursday THIS week arghh! Not again. Forecast is for up to 12" by nightfall. And with that I bring you cheese soup.

Cheese Soup

Yield: serves 4-6
Prep Time: 10 minutes
Cook Time: 30 minutes
Total Time: 40 minutes

Ingredients:

3 slices thick-cut bacon, chopped
1 sweet onion, finely diced
1/2 red pepper, finely diced
2 garlic cloves, minced
2 tablespoons unsalted butter
2 tablespoons flour
2 cups of stock (your choice)
1 cup half and half
4 ounces sharp white cheddar, freshly grated
4 ounces extra sharp yellow cheddar, freshly grated
4 ounces colby jack, freshly grated
fresh herbs for garnish
salt and pepper to season if needed
bread rolls for serving

Directions:

Heat a large stock pot over medium heat and add chopped bacon. Fry until crispy and fat is rendered, them remove bacon with a slotted spoon and place on a paper towel to drain. Reduce heat to low and add onions, peppers and garlic, stirring to coat. Cook for about 10 minutes, until vegetables are translucent, stirring occasionally. Increase heat to medium-high and add in butter. Once sizzling, which in flour and cook for 3-4 minutes until flour is nutty and golden. Add in stock and stirring constantly, cook for 5 minutes so the mixture somewhat thickens.
Add in half and half, then reduce heat to low and gradually add cheese while stirring. Stir until smooth, then fold in bacon and serve immediately. Garnish fresh chopped herbs over top if desired.

[Because any cheese soup can get "gloppy" after it sits, I suggest making this as close to serving time if possible. If the mixture gets too thick, add a bit more liquid and stir over low heat. ]

Thank me later!

Paying it forward - spreading a little kindness

I always try to be kind to others and help when I can. Usually just people I know though - I don't get much contact with the outside world being a mother of 5 smalls! It's such a good feeling to help your friends or family - even if it's just helping with a problem they're running through their head and not a physical act of help. I took it a step further yesterday. I rather randomly helped a complete stranger, by letting them borrow an old pack n play. I saw a post on a local Mother's group saying there had been a death in the family and did anyone have a portable crib she could borrow to accommodate her brother's baby. Now usually when I see posts like this I think wow who would lend a total stranger something - then I thought - me. I would do that. So I offered, and she picked it up yesterday. Now that is a whole new kind of happy feeling. It really fits in to my "takes a village" mindset. I know you aren't supposed to do good things to get good things come back, but karma, and paying it forward being what it is - the better you treat others in this world, the kinder people become, the more likely it is it will come back to you someday. But for now I feel good knowing something I don't use is being used in times of trouble to give a little relief to a heartbroken family.

bathtime for babies

I feel oh so very accomplished in the hours following bath night success.  Successfully getting 5 children under 9 in the tub, hair washed, nails clipped, dried and pajamad (not a word but sooo should be), is nothing short of a miracle. I try to do every other night in the winter months, due to dry skin issues. But in the summer when they're playing outside a daily bath is pretty much a necessity. Not one I love! The one part I do enjoy, apart from their squeaky clean after appearance - is the drying of the hair. Not the brushing, lets get that straight right away! There's something about that almost silent time with them sitting with the blow dryer hum and nothing else, and that warm comfort of the miracle being almost complete. It's a time I cherish for sure.

On that joyous note I have to tell you about my trip to Target yesterday - not one bottle of bubble bath in the whole store! And when I asked the cashier - can you believe he didn't have a clue what I was talking about! What's the world coming to!?

100th Day of School fast approaching!

The children are all a buzz about their 100th day celebrations. I'm not sure the 3rd grader celebrates much - other than the fact that half a school year is almost done and dusted! The Kindergartner has the usual project of producing a collection of 100 items - and this gets me excited. With my first we made 100 origami cranes.. yes really.. and made them into a mobile (which the teacher took home for her baby's room). Impressive right? Last year it was 100 googly eyeballs stuck to a superman. Yeah, you can tell the enthusiasm had waned a bit! This year I've seen this genius (ok really crafty) idea of making a gumball machine out of a flower pot.

I think I'm more excited than she is but it will be a winner I'm sure! Not that it's a competition..ahem.. We're going to fill it with 100 of those fuzzball pompoms instead of actual gumballs, which I always think are a choking hazard for anyone under 21, don't you?!

Homemade play dough

We go through so much play dough in this house I thought it was finally time to try making my own.  When I looked online for recipes, most of them used cream of tartar which I didn't have. So instead I went the natural site recipe road and found one just using flour, vinegar, water and food coloring (optional).  It turned out great and my son had a wonderful experience helping making it and playing with it..  Also held off his endless pleas for me to play Lego with him for a while. An added bonus!

waning on winter

It may only just be the end of January tomorrow, but I feel like this winter has gone on long enough. Here in New York we've had snow pretty much every other day since November. If it's not been falling thick and hard, it's been blanketed and frozen from the last storm. I've never known snow like this. I've never known cold like this - it hasn't been above freezing during the day for weeks. We gave up clearing the pathway sometime late December and just gave into the soft crunch under foot every morning. The birds are all so active this time of year. So I'm trying hard to keep my feeders full and my suet supply stocked. The thing is I love winter.

When Fall starts dwindling I get so excited at the prospect of the first snow, the sparkling ground and snow laden pines fill me with so much joy. Our property here is just under an acre consisting of a large lawned piece at the front and a wood of Maples at the rear. From the end of Spring when the last of the dogwood and cherry blossoms have fallen - it's pretty much green central station. Green trees, green grass, green bushes.. it's hard to grow flowers well at the front because of our resident deer families. So I welcome that roll into the colorful Autumn oranges, and then the white out that follows. But after three straight months of white, I find myself once again craving the green. Everything looks so dead at this point, with no twinkling white Christmas lights to give it that joyful glow.

 I planted my seeds the night before last. Broccoli, Kale, Watermelon, Zinnia, Sunflower, Moon Flower, Morning Glories... That gave me a bit of a boost, the thought of what's to come in a few months when the snow has gone, and the world wakes up again. but the children look so cute in their mittens and hats, thick winter coats and snow boots, I think I need to take a walk in the mountains to grasp the beauty of what's still here, because even though my love for winter is hiding, the sparkle is still twinkling.

knit one purl one

I've always loved knitting, and the look and feel of knitted clothing for my babies. Lately I've become a huge fan of knitted toys too. I started selling my gnome babies on etsy a while ago, so far successfully.

I'm hoping to branch out into other toys too - hedgehogs anyone? No one could resist those sweet little faces? On a side-note that is definitely one thing to add to the list of "oooh I really miss from home"... hedgehogs are just the sweetest thing - and much cuter than porcupines!

I've been a forever fan of the blabla dolls - although none of my children have actually owned one. There are so many different simple little styles of knit animals to try - I should really just go for it - when I find the time of course!

for the love of Le Creuset

My adoration for the heavy French cookware started long ago. My Mother always made her delicious casseroles in a large oval piece, the sight of that on the Aga meant a hearty meal was on the way. The first piece I owned was an aqua blue casserole, which is still the most used piece in my collection. A skillet followed, then a few large vintage casseroles, some enamel stock pots, a few griddles later and my shelves are stacked!

My most recent piece is a large oval skillet - with a family of 7 this is perfect for chicken cutlets and meatballs en masse. I have plenty of star shaped ramekins that have as yet gone unused - I'm waiting for just the right chocolate mousse recipe.. With Valentine's Day just a few weeks away - Le Creuset makes the perfect gift to be enjoyed for a lifetime and more.

 

Go to www.lecreuset.com and as a special Valentine's treat enter the code LOVE at checkout to receive these cherry red nesting cocettes free on all orders over $150!

in search of ancient grains

I certainly feel something rustic and good about preparing ancient grains for my children. I try to buy the ancient grain bread whenever I see it, I even love to say ancient grains - as if that in itself makes it more wholesome, more healthful. They are of course very healthy and good for you as all whole grains are. Tonight I cooked Farro for the first time. They say Farro is the original grain from which all others derive, and fed the Mediterranean and Near Eastern populations for thousands of years; somewhat more recently it was the standard ration of the Roman Legions that expanded throughout the Western World. Ground into a paste and cooked, it was also the primary ingredient in puls, the polenta eaten for centuries by the Roman poor. Important as it was, however, it was difficult to work and produced low yields. In the centuries following the fall of the Empire, higher-yielding grains were developed and farro's cultivation dwindled: By the turn of the century in Italy there were a few hundred acres of fields scattered over the regions of Lazio, Umbria, the Marches and Tuscany. Farro would probably still be an extremely local specialty had the farmers of the French Haute Savoie not begun to supply it to elegant restaurants that used it in hearty vegetable soups and other dishes. Their success sparked renewed interest in farro among gastronomes, and now the grain is enjoying a resurgence in popularity in Italy as well, especially among trendy health-conscious cooks.

I will probably look for a recipe for the next time I cook it, but as for tonight I boiled it in salted water until tender, added some garlic, a little butter, olive oil, and oregano et voila. The children loved it, as did I. It has a nutty taste and it kind of pops in your mouth as you eat it, it holds its shape and is not smooshy at all, I think it would be equally great in a salad, as it would in a risotto dish. Glad to add another grain option to our diets - brown rice gets old after a while!

Operation Bluebird

Before moving to our slightly more rural lodgings here in Rockland County, we lived in Brooklyn, NYC. Some might think there isn't much in the way of wildlife to be had in the city - but they'd be wrong. A little wrong anyway! Growing up in Scotland where wildlife is abundant, I certainly had that opinion of city living, enforced after a spell living in London where all I saw were pigeons and on one occasion a fox. However in Brooklyn we regularly had a large possum in our back yard, so much so we named him Pete! We had the (dis)pleasure of meeting several racoons, and the joy of being able to feed Cardinals and Blue Jays most days. There were the usual finches and once even a bright yellow Goldfinch. One of the draws for me about moving out of the city was definitely being able to see more wildlife. We haven't been disappointed. So far we've been treated to many visits from deer, rabbits, skunk (not so welcome!), groundhogs, turkey vultures, hawks and coyotes. But it's the small birds I love. Apart I might say from owls which will always be welcome, especially of the Great Horned variety. In the bird department we have many different Woodpeckers, Cardinals, Blue Jays, Carolina Wrens, Hermit Wrens, Tufted Titmouse, Hummingbirds, Nuthatches, Chickadees, Black Eyed Juncos, Oriole,  Robins... and a lot more that I'm forgetting! But there is one we do not have, even though they are all over the Hudson Valley - the Bluebird. So my mission this year is to finally get one here - you know how it goes - photo or it didn't happen!

I'm going to start by putting a nesting box out front on a very large, old maple, it faces the house and has an expansive piece of grassland out there, conditions I've heard they like. The pond is in sight if they fly around a bit, and I'll put out some meal worms.. apparently that's what they eat. Not sure what else to do but I'm crossing my fingers that will be enough!

Review: KitchenAid Immersion Blender

Today I'm going to be reviewing the handiest gadget I own, the KitchenAid Immersion Blender. I bought this tool around 4 years ago and find myself reaching for it more and more these days. I don't think I've every adjusted the speed, in fact I didn't notice it had adjustable speed until my husband pointed it out - maybe I should read manuals more! This hasn't ever made a difference to anything I've used it for, it is always perfect. From mashed potatoes, to soups to baby food, smoothies, milkshakes getting the lumps out of a bad batch of béchamel - this is your new best friend. Here is some blurb from KitchenAid's website:

"The 3-Speed Hand Blender let's you blend, crush, chop, puree and whisk. Simply choose the appropriate speed for your ingredients. The chopper attachment is great for processing harder cheeses, nuts and creating graham cracker crusts. The included whisk attachment whips creams and egg whites to fluffy peaks."

I definitely find myself just using the S-blade for everything - it's a great multipurpose chopper. If you don't already own an immersion blender - this one is hard to beat!  Use code "SHIP13" for free shipping now at www.kitchenaid.com

has it really been this long!?

I can't believe it's been over a year since I wrote anything here. That's what having a baby does I guess! So much has happened in the past year, mainly not on the good side, so I bid a respectful farewell to 2013 and I know 2014 will be a much better year for all of us. I started another blog about cooking, well mainly what I cook - I really wanted to have that be a separate entity from this but it makes more sense to me in these busy days to just go ahead and roll everything together. Being a mother of 5 has its challenges, mentally and physically, and right now I tell you I'm the most tired I've ever been! Our fifth munchkin was born on my birthday, December 27th 2012 and she has brought so much joy and happiness to our family I don't remember life without her. But you know I mentioned tired... well! You can imagine. I have a toddler that has started waking in the night again and insisting on sleeping with us, which in turn wakes the baby, and these past few months my others have started to be early risers, coming into the room at daybreak - exhausting! I'm still plodding on with my business - Bramble Boutique - we are on etsy - and while I find it a little financially rewarding at times, it can be a lot of work and not much return most of the time. I decided to stray away from my graphic design roots and swing into the animation field. SO that's what's next on the agenda. On that note my latest thing is bulk cooking.

Inspired by The Pioneer Woman cooking show, I've started making sure I cook double, sometimes triple every time I prepare something which can be frozen. So far this has included chicken pot pie, lasagne, meatballs, chicken breasts, pie crusts, pasta bakes and so forth! It's a really good feeling on a weeknight when I don't have a lot of time (or brain power!) to just grab something out of the freezer and stick it in the oven. 

A quick note before I get on with "laundry mountain" - is anyone else out there struggling with the nightmare that is Common Core in NY State? I'm not sure of the quality of the work they get to do at school but I can tell you the sheets they bring home for homework are consistently misspelled, miss-written, miscalculated miss everything really! So frustrating. More tomorrow!