Every time a child says, "I don't believe in fairies," there is a fairy somewhere that falls down dead.
James Matthew Barrie, Peter Pan
Showing posts with label anxiety. Show all posts
Showing posts with label anxiety. Show all posts

Friday, August 31, 2012

waiting... and waiting

So I wait and wait and then I wait some more and all the while I feel a nervousness building up inside me that tears me to shreds. It's now been 10 long days since I had my blood drawn for the Down Syndrome test. 9 if you don't count the actual day of the draw - but 10 is a round number so I'm going with 10.  I've set out to accomplish greatness this week - anything to take my mind off the waiting game. But although I've done much it seems little. The laundry still sits waiting to be put away, the breakfast dishes still wait to be done int he sink - and my bedroom - after nearly a year here still waits to be painted.  So you see everything is on hold right now. So while I try to get a lot done to avoid thinking about waiting - everything else waits with me. I've stared at the damn phone around a million times this week, and even though the genetic lady told me to call Friday 4.30pm I left a message at 2pm. To no avail of course But there is a limit to my patience and I reached it ooh 4 days ago!

Saturday, July 21, 2012

driving miss crazy

I'm heading out for a driving lesson this morning.  I can drive, have done for a long time, but failed my US road test in June. To say I was devastated doesn't say enough.  Worse was I could feel how disappointed my instructor was with me because he knows as well as I do that I should have passed! Argh! Nerves got the better of me on the day, as they do for lots of people, doesn't help that feeling of failure though. I have my next road test in just over a week and I am terrified! Not of the driving, or the maneuvers which are just checking off boxes as you go, signal, mirrors, blindspot, etc.. I am terrified of failing again.  I get a knot in my stomach thinking about it. So off I go for a lesson and I hope to do a couple more before the road test - just to get some more experience so maybe I won't be as terrified.  Time will tell!